In the Bowl, Part Two

Posted: June 21, 2010 in My Story, Part Two, The Real Me
Tags: , , ,

For the beginning of this story, (and you should really read the beginning; it’s important), please click here before proceeding!

. . .

The first order of business, before moving to the ocean, was actually becoming a mermaid.  Lainie was no fool; she knew that there wouldn’t be any witches or sea-kings at her disposal.  Besides, she’d never make some stupid trade and fall into a trap.  She had definitely learned from Ariel’s mistakes.  On the contrary, Lainie knew of only One who could make her dream come true.

You guessed it from the capital letter—God.

What?  You think God couldn’t turn Lainie into a mermaid?  Then you’re a fool.  God can do anything.  Even if mermaids only exist in fairy tales, God could make one.  Lainie might just be the first.  And she aimed to ask as no little girl had ever asked for anything before.

Night after hopeful night, Lainie prayed to Jesus that she’d wake up and find fins under her sheets; she didn’t care what color.  After several disappointing mornings, she had a lot to think about.

Could God hear her?  Stupid question.  Of course He could.

Then why wasn’t He answering?  This one was puzzling, indeed.  Perhaps Lainie just needed to be patient.  God doesn’t always give you what you ask the first time.  In addition, maybe it was foolish to expect God to do all the work.  Shouldn’t she help in some way?  Everyone always says that God helps those who help themselves.

Right.  That’s it.

The following night, she lay in bed with her legs firmly pressed together.  God may have found it annoying to take two, sprawled limbs and weave them magically together while keeping the little girl asleep.  (Of course He’d keep her asleep.  Such a thing would probably hurt.)

Morning came; no fins. New idea.

Swimming!  Swimming mermaid-style, and singing “Part of Your World.”  How could Lainie have been so dense?  God wouldn’t want to have a mermaid lying in a bed.  Maybe she wouldn’t be able to breathe!

So, she swam and sang.  You know, if you could call it “swimming” when one wiggles about in a kiddy pool.  Either way, she was in the water and mermaiding as no one had ever mermaided.  Perfect setup for God to do his magic!

Nada.  She swam all afternoon, until she was all wrinkled up like prune and her mother got home from work.  Back to square one.

Forget the swimming.  If she’s swimming, she’s not sleeping, and God would want her sleeping, as explained before.  She couldn’t sleep and swim at the same time, because she was still human and could risk drowning before God showed up to do the switch.  Back to sleeping.

Listen, if God could change a girl into a mermaid, He could certainly figure out what to do with the mermaid’s breathing situation until she could be relocated to the nearest body of water.  Besides, perhaps she would be able to breathe on land!  The mermaid in the Tom Hanks movie could, and so could Ariel.  Lainie had obviously jumped to a ridiculous conclusion with the swimming thing.

Persistence was the name of the game.

And persist Lainie did.  She even got it in her head that her underwear might be a bother to God while fusing her legs together, so she tried going commando one night.  That felt really weird, and didn’t work anyway, so she just went back to regular sleeping with her legs together and praying persistently.

She kept her hope in a magical, underwater world, full of music, joy, and freedom.  Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?

Oh, and she kept rewinding The Little Mermaid, despite the scoffers.  Give that girl any sentence from any scene, and she can recite the rest of the movie.

.  .  .

Down here all the fish is happy,
as off to the waves they roll.
The fish on the land ain’t happy;
they sad ‘cause they in the bowl.

~Sebastian the Crab


  1. katdish says:

    It was the underwear. You should have slept commando in the bathtub. Dang, what were you thinking? You could have your own movie by now!

    • Right. How do you think you would react if you found your daughter getting ready for bed by filling up the bathtub and taking off her underwear? There’s no way I could have risked my mother finding out about my plan! I had to wait until I actually became a mermaid before she’d take me seriously.

      Sucks that I’m still waiting.

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