Consistently Inconsistent.

Posted: September 1, 2010 in The Real Me
Tags: , ,

Consistency is my classroom management secret.  I’m nothing if not consistent at school.  I know; you’re laughing.  Since I’ve been so unreliable since I started this blog, and since I started it so recently, I’m not sure how much anyone cares about why I’ve been away or whether I want to continue blogging.  Even so.  Rambling on these very topics will ensue, which is okay because all two of you who actually came here probably already stopped reading.

Why I’ve been away: I’ve been overwhelmed.  “With what?” you ask.  Good question.  Name it, I’m overwhelmed by it. Washing my hair — total nuisance.  Scooping the kitty box — necessary evil.  Having consistently fruitful time with the Lord?  Completely unmanageable.  I can’t make it happen.  Am I trying to be too controlling?  Not at all.  Most nights, I’ve simply given up.  I read, and I write commentary in my journal, but I don’t meet God.  Him or me?  They say it’s me.  So, I get down on myself for sucking and I give up even more.  How can I think about trying to find time to blog (i.e. do something so relatively unimportant) when I am not even taking sufficient time to pursue God?  Oh, and then school started.  It’s been the absolute worst start of school I’ve ever had in my life, and if I could ethically and financially, I’d be out of there so fast.  Bridges not only burned, but completely blown to Smithereens, wherever that is.  I don’t even want to talk about that one, but thanks for caring enough to want to ask.  So, I’ve been completely wrapped up in not being able to do anything the way I should be able to, for whatever reason, that I have neglected you.  But, I think about you every day.  Really.  I want to quit my sucky day job and become a writer.  A for-real writer, full time. << Pipe dream.>>

Whether I want to continue blogging: Yes!  Very much.  But, no promises.  I know that probably means no readers.  I don’t know what else to say about that, because the whole situation kind of sucks.  I miss you.

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Comments
  1. mattie hopper says:

    you have a reader here! praying! thankful to call you my friend.

  2. Katdish says:

    Miss you too, friend. And whether you post or not, don’t stop writing. Never put that pen down.

  3. See? I knew it was all two of you. 🙂

    Thanks, friends. Katdish, I haven’t been able to pick my pen up! Hopefully soon.

  4. macayla says:

    Praying for you. I check this thing every day in hopes that you’re sharing your thoughts. Miss you, but I understand. Eat some Cheetos and enjoy a Coke. You’ve earned it with such a rough start to the school year.

  5. Pat says:

    Life is like that …. sometimes overwhelming. Bet ya thought I never read your blog. I do and I don’t think you suck; neither does God. We think you are awesome. And, dreams do come true.

  6. Hang in there. Teaching is rough beyond belief sometimes.

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